It's been an interesting day today
This morning my other half and I decided to try out an experiment and do things a little differently.
I should explain that he and I live together, work together and run a business jointly, and that, as this business is based from home, and that the business is based from our home, which is a tiny little house with very little room. This means that we're sometimes in the same house and each other's space 24hrs a day, 7 days a week. Thankfully, it's not the case 24x7x365 as sometimes he's onsite or I'm out visiting customers, but it's pretty regular that we work this closely at least 1 week out of 4.
I know some people will say "I could never do that, we'd kill each other!" and when he left his job to set up in business with me, it was one of our primary concerns (we'd only been seeing each other for 5 months at the time). Others might say "OMG, that's awesome, You're so lucky!"
To be fair, I think we do realise how lucky we are but it does also mean that proximity leads to tension occasionally. It's easy for bad habits to creep in, leading to bad behaviour and taking your frustration out on the person you adore the most in the whole world. Familiarity, as they say, breeds contempt.
We're definitely both guilty of being less than complimentary about one another - not in an ostensibly nasty way, and not out of malice, but still, not nice. It's not the kind of thing which builds self-esteem for either of us, and does nothing to foster the harmonious relationship that we both want.
Last night I wanted a cuddle when we got into bed, but it was pretty cold last night and according to him, I was "freezing". It lead to a little bit of banter back and forth and me saying that if he didn't adore me enough anymore to put up with my cold body, I would go and find someone who did!
My other half is awesome, I love him to pieces. The sunshine came into my life when he and I got together. He's a full-on superhero to put up with me, my PCOS and all the crazy business ideas I have on a daily basis. Living with me isn't easy - he supports me in my quest to cure my PCOS, patiently putting up with my various moods, creaky joints and body that doesn't always do as it's told. He simply supports me through it all. I certainly do adore him, so what I was doing joking that he could be replaced when I know I couldn't live without him I don't know!
So this morning as we woke I hugged him and asked him if we could do something different today. We resolved only to talk to each other in in positive terms, replacing the disinterested half-formed responses, sharp retorts caused by stress and downright unhelpful comments we both make with positive, loving exchanges, taking that split second of extra time to acknowledge the other's position, consider their feelings and say something constructive.
It's held all day. We've been far nicer to each other and the house has been calmer. Its been nothing short of lovely.
Our relationship isn't perfect, but we are grounded on a solid basis - we love each other and have a lot of respect. I hope we can remember to do this all of the time, although realisitically if we could work towards most of the time, that would be great too.
How do I feel? More appreciated, less harried, calmer.
How does he feel? I asked and he said it had been nice, which is high praise from the bloke that he is. Articulate in the extreme when it comes to technology, not so much when it comes to his feelings. I hope he also feels less harried, more supported and just a little more content.
If you're looking for a nice way to change things with your partner, I recommend giving this strategy a go. It's easy to do, doesn't cost a thing and is a positive change you can make anywhere and in any situation.
Give it a try and let me know how you get on. I'd love to hear your comments.
I know some people will say "I could never do that, we'd kill each other!" and when he left his job to set up in business with me, it was one of our primary concerns (we'd only been seeing each other for 5 months at the time). Others might say "OMG, that's awesome, You're so lucky!"
To be fair, I think we do realise how lucky we are but it does also mean that proximity leads to tension occasionally. It's easy for bad habits to creep in, leading to bad behaviour and taking your frustration out on the person you adore the most in the whole world. Familiarity, as they say, breeds contempt.
We're definitely both guilty of being less than complimentary about one another - not in an ostensibly nasty way, and not out of malice, but still, not nice. It's not the kind of thing which builds self-esteem for either of us, and does nothing to foster the harmonious relationship that we both want.
Last night I wanted a cuddle when we got into bed, but it was pretty cold last night and according to him, I was "freezing". It lead to a little bit of banter back and forth and me saying that if he didn't adore me enough anymore to put up with my cold body, I would go and find someone who did!
My other half is awesome, I love him to pieces. The sunshine came into my life when he and I got together. He's a full-on superhero to put up with me, my PCOS and all the crazy business ideas I have on a daily basis. Living with me isn't easy - he supports me in my quest to cure my PCOS, patiently putting up with my various moods, creaky joints and body that doesn't always do as it's told. He simply supports me through it all. I certainly do adore him, so what I was doing joking that he could be replaced when I know I couldn't live without him I don't know!
So this morning as we woke I hugged him and asked him if we could do something different today. We resolved only to talk to each other in in positive terms, replacing the disinterested half-formed responses, sharp retorts caused by stress and downright unhelpful comments we both make with positive, loving exchanges, taking that split second of extra time to acknowledge the other's position, consider their feelings and say something constructive. It's held all day. We've been far nicer to each other and the house has been calmer. Its been nothing short of lovely.
Our relationship isn't perfect, but we are grounded on a solid basis - we love each other and have a lot of respect. I hope we can remember to do this all of the time, although realisitically if we could work towards most of the time, that would be great too.
How do I feel? More appreciated, less harried, calmer.
How does he feel? I asked and he said it had been nice, which is high praise from the bloke that he is. Articulate in the extreme when it comes to technology, not so much when it comes to his feelings. I hope he also feels less harried, more supported and just a little more content.
If you're looking for a nice way to change things with your partner, I recommend giving this strategy a go. It's easy to do, doesn't cost a thing and is a positive change you can make anywhere and in any situation.
Give it a try and let me know how you get on. I'd love to hear your comments.
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